Imagine your shock when you return from holiday and discover a stranger asleep in your bed. Unfortunately, that is precisely what happened to the Lancashire couple, Martin Holtby and Pat Dyson.

The retired couple first thought something was strange as they opened their door to find the mail and newspapers picked up and neatly stacked. Ms Dyson also noticed that the house was unusually tidy.

Lukasz Chojnowski was the unlikely intruder and gained the nickname Goldilocks. However, Chojnowski wasn’t a disrespectful house intruder. The couple noted that he had done the washing up, brought food and even done a load of washing.

The intruder had cooked a meal and enjoyed a bubble bath before he was discovered in the couple’s bed. When Holtby challenged him, he appeared to cower under the bedclothes. The situation was made worse by a lack of a common language as Polish-born Chojnowski has very poor English. The couple locked the doors and called the police; Goldilocks was arrested.

The only damage to the house was a burnt saucepan, but as Dyson commented, ‘these things happen.’ The couple both stated that at no time did they feel threatened by their unusual house guest.

Once arrested, it was discovered that Chojnowski had been evicted from his regular lodgings. Having nowhere to stay, he spotted the couples house. Going to the overgrown back garden, he presumed the house was unoccupied and forced a rear window to gain entrance.

The defendant chose the house because he initially thought it was empty. — Laura Haywood, Defence Attorney

Once inside, he must have know the property was occupied and prayed the occupants would not return too soon. Although Chojnowski had been observed in the house by the window cleaner, he stated that he thought the twenty-eight-year-old was the couple’s grandson.

Chojnowski was given a two-year conditional discharge and ordered to pay £200 costs at Burnley Crown Court after admitting burglary. He had taken nothing from the property despite Dyson having a jewellery box in the house.

Ms Dyson commented that she felt ‘fairly sympathetic although he did break in …but it was neatly done.’ Mr Holtby commented that Chojnowski was so tidy ‘he thought about hiring as a butler to stay in the basement.’

Chojnowski will forever be known as a respectful thief, but one of Britain’s most foolish criminals.